I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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