I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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