Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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