When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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