When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize