In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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