she was so not down for the gang bang
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize