i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize