Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I faked an abortion last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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