The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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