Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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