apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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