Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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