Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
In America we eat man semen.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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