One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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