now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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