We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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