Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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