OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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