if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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