I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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