It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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