Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize