I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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