Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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