i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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