I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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