i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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