pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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