you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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