i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize