I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
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he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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