Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize