I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize