Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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