dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize