i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You pole danced in your parka.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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