he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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