everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he fucked my hip out of place.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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