let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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