Jerry, you need to find god
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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