I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize