i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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