my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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