Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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