I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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