Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize