What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize