So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
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This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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