Someone shit on the floor
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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